015-05

I thought if I held steady
The walls would somehow stand
I thought if I stayed careful
The fire would understand

I thought the weight was mine
To carry without end
I thought if I kept holding
Something clean would still remain

But the tighter that I held it
The less my hands could feel
And the more I named it duty
The less of it was real

Not by my grip
Not by my strength
Not by the little
I could manage to defend

Not by my wisdom
Not by my will
Something held me
When my hands were still

I was not the gatekeeper
I was not the saving wall
I was only one more man
Trying not to let it fall

And what I could not carry
Did not crush me in the end
What I could not keep together
Was held by better hands

So let the record show it
I was never strong enough
And that is why
It had to be love

Not by my grip
Not by my strength
Not by the little
I could manage to defend

Not by my wisdom
Not by my will
Something held me
When my hands were still

Not around it
Not above it
Through the middle
Of the mess

Not because I mastered it
Not because I passed the test

Not by my grip
Not by my strength
But by a mercy
That did not ask for my defense

Not by my holding
Not by my skill
Something held me
And somehow still does